Recruit, Inspire & Retain

November 2005

Ideas for "Marketing" and Providing "Customer Service" to Current and Potential Employees

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bullet RECRUIT - Recruiters Need a Good Laugh
bullet To Dare
bullet Cool Calls
bullet INSPIRE - America’s Best Leaders
bullet TRAIN - Why Have Objectives Written/Spoken As Outcomes of Observable Behavior?
bullet RETAIN - An Innovative Approach to Employee Assistance Programs Can Boost Efficiency
bullet Fun Days to Celebrate/Professional Development Conferences/Ways to Volunteer & Give
(E-mail Us For Ways to Celebrate the FUN Days to Celebrate)

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Recruiters Need a Good Laugh

If you read resumes and cover letters/emails, you’ve likely seen this list OR you have files full or your own version!

Still, on a day you’re swamped and can’t make heads or tails of the pile of resumes on your desk and in your In Box, take a 10 minute break, read these, laugh – get some endorphins – and go back to the pile refreshed. The candidates will look different. Try it!

"I am very detail-oriented."

"I have a bachelorette degree in computers."

“Served as assistant sore manager."

"Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."

"Special skills: Thyping."

"Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes."

"I eat computers for lunch."

"Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."

"Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."

"Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle."

"My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend."

“I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."

"Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984."

"Fortunately because of stress, worked in the cardiac intensive-care ward."

"Typing Speed: 756 wpm."

"Objectives: 10-year goal: Total obliteration of sales and federal income taxes and tax laws."

"At one point in time during [John Doe's] 28 years on this planet, he was in an automobile accident; which put a few years therapy, some 'rollercoaster' emotional soul journeys, and a wicked job resume, which most employers would frown upon, around his present identity... ten years 'in the running'. However, given the present cash flow, via. The American government, consistency, both physically and emotionally, have been realized and touched upon over the past few years. All in all, my relationship with social security benefits is growing near end in response to my accumulated work history. Hence, I see urgency, closure, some fear, strong desire, and maturity all woven into this expression of me, the employee to you, the employer."

"My experience in horticulture is well-rooted."

"Extensive background in public accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

"Personal: Married 20 years; own a home, along with a friendly mortgage company."

"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business."

"Frequent Lecturer: Largest Audience: 1,351. Standing Ovations: 5. Number of Audience Questions: 30."

"Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math."

"Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

"Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume."

"I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt."

"Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date."

"It's best for employers that I not work with people."

"If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope."

"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job' -- and I like your company in particular."

"I am relatively intelligent, obedient, and as loyal as a puppy."

"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all the others to heat your house."

"I don't usually blow my own horn, but in this case, I will go right ahead and do so."

"I need just enough money to have pizza every night."

“My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

"My salary requirement is $34 per year."

"I'll need $30K to start, full medical, three weeks vacation, stock options and ideally a European sedan."

"I realize that my total lack of appropriate experience may concern those considering me for employment."

"I'll starve without a job but don't feel you have to give me one."

"You are privileged to receive my resume."

Get more tips on recruiting great employees from TRAINING SYSTEMS.

  Resumes From Hell, by Jon Reed, Rachel Meyers & Rusty Johnson
  Interviewing Techniques for Managers (especially the chapter on simulations/job trials), by TRAINING SYSTEMS, INC. own Carolyn B. Thompson. (10% off by typing "RIR" in Special Instructions) Or E-mail  

Tools: : Recruit Inspire Train Retain

Recruitment, inspiration, training, and retention ideasHave a recruitment, inspiration, training, or retention idea or question? Ask by clicking the question mark, and we’ll post your idea or question (and the answer) in Answers & Ideas on Recruiting, Inspiring, Training, & Retaining Great Employees at

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To Dare

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves;
They have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
                            Unknown author

November 23rd is What Do You Love About America Day (See FUN Days to Celebrate/Professional Development Conferences/Ways to Volunteer & Give)

Carolyn says: “What I love about America is precisely that, that we are free. God gave it to us, the Founding Fathers reinforced it and we need to remember the joy of that freedom as we interact with people whose ideas are different from ours. We can do this because we are free!”

Tell Us What You Love About America!

PowerPoint screen show that features 40 humorous posters that are pre-set to work on “auto-pilot”. Makes a great “WELCOME” message or enhancement to your session break. Runs about 5 minutes, and is set to automatically recycle. You can add in your own slides. (a great place to slip in your objectives!) Get your PowerPoint screen show here!
Love those COLORFUL QUOTE POSTERS you see in TRAINING SYSTEMS' group training and conference bookstores? E-mail or call 800-469-3560 to find out how to get packs of the topics you need.

Tools: Recruit Inspire Train Retain

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* Investors’ Business Daily interviewed Carolyn B. Thompson, for an article titled: Interviewing Is A Managerial Art, which ran in both the print and online editions of Investor's Business Daily on 10-24-05. For a copy of the text, email

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America’s Best Leaders

Do leaders matter? That question has prompted debate for centuries. The Scottish philosopher, Thomas Carlyle, famously represented one side of the arguments, “The history of the world is but the biography of great men.” (Excerpted from U.S. News & World Report, 10/05)

The October 31, 2005 issue of U.S. News & World Report is 92 pages. The article cataloguing the behaviors of America’s Best Leaders is 74 pages of that (OK, so there are a few ads). When was the last time you read a news magazine devoted almost solely to something that would help you and your organization grow your inspirational environment?

If you don’t subscribe to the magazine, get it from the library, see if your newsstand still has any, or contact the magazine to get last week’s issue, www.Usnews/,

Just in case you’re not convinced, the article ends with:
“The 20th Century taught us that progress is not inevitable. Each generation has to struggle and sacrifice to secure a better future for its children. When it fails, the world slips backward. Whether America moves forward will hinge in significant degree upon the quality and number of those who lead.”

Make a Comment/Question

Get more tips on inspiring great employees from TRAINING SYSTEMS.

Leadership Lessons of the Navy Seals, by Jeff Canon & Jon Cannon, available by emailing or calling 800-469-3560.
Nightly Business Reports Presents Lasting Leadership: What You Can Learn From the Top 25 Business People of All Times, by Mukul Pandya, et al.

Tools: Recruit Inspire Train Retain

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Why Have Objectives Written/Spoken As Outcomes of Observable Behavior?

A six week online training we did for trainers, professional development managers, conference coordinators – anyone helping people learn! – included this question:

How can the objectives/outcomes in your educational offerings be written as action-oriented descriptions of observable behavior?

A few of the really awesome answers from learners:
“Interesting question. We make every effort to state course objectives (in detail) particularly with our entry and intermediate courses. For half- and full day courses, we make sure that the facilitators ask and cover the learning objectives of the participants. If this isn't possible, we ensure that the participants understand the course objectives. Through the years, we have found that listing the objectives in detail has been of significant benefit to both the instructor and the participants. For a particular workshop offered two to three times, we failed to list the objectives and the overall evaluations weren't as good because some of the participants had a different level of expectation.”

“We're even posting the intended learning outcomes for every conference session on the web this year. The idea came because one special set of programs had detailed learning outcomes listed 2 years ago. We found that the evaluations were much higher for these programs and determined it to be from the match in program content to participant expectation. So this year, we're expanding that to all conference sessions!”

“Relying heavily on Bloom's taxonomy in relating learning objectives certainly offers measurability, and keeps us accountable for the content. Here’s a few examples. At the conclusion of this seminar you will be able to:
                 ● Identify methods of reducing the extent of a classified area
                 ● Measure the egress capacity of a component of the means of egress system
                 ● Verify the requirements for seismic bracing.”

“Excellent idea about including learning objectives with sessions at your annual meeting. We collect that info for CEU admin purposes, but haven't taken full advantage of it. I'll put that to use this year!”

“Harvard University Class of 1965 Study: all students had goals but only 3% had written goals. 20 years later that 3% had a combined income greater than the other 97%!”


So, why have objectives written/spoken as outcomes of observable behavior?

Make a Comment/Question

Get more tips on training great employees from TRAINING SYSTEMS.

Preparing Instructional Objectives: A Critical Tool in the Development of Effective Instruction, by Robert Frank Mager
Ten Steps to Determining the Return on Your Training Investment (worksheets for planning and/or measuring the ROI), by TRAINING SYSTEMS, INC. (10% off by typing "RIR" in Special Instructions) Or E-mail.

Tools: Recruit Inspire Train Retain

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An Innovative Approach to Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) Can Boost Efficiency

Getting top productivity from employees has become more challenging in today’s workplace. A complicated web of personal, economic, and social issues can have a direct effect on performance. While most companies would expect many of those issues to be dealt with through a traditional employee assistance program (EAP), managers are finding that a more proactive approach – known as performance management – can do a better job of getting employees back on track.

Bob Handwerk, a member of the Rotary Club of Delavan-Darien, WI, USA, is president of RHL Associates, a human resource consulting firm, and has coached employers on performance issues for more than 10 years, Handwerk recalls the case of a manufacturing firm where productivity had dropped, despite management’s efforts to place skilled workers in challenging roles and pay them higher salaries. Handwerk found that because of a breakdown in communication, management was unaware that these highly skilled workers were actually doing more redundant work. The result was an increase in absenteeism and heightened stress levels, which had a negative effect on quality.

On the surface (absenteeism and stress), the responsibility for helping those employees appeared to fall into the hands of an EAP. But the conditions stemmed from the organization, not from the individuals within it.

“EAPs were originally designed to focus on alcoholism and individual emotional concerns,” Handwerk says. “But today’s employers are faced with additional issues caused by the shift from a product-based to a knowledge based economy and the communication challenges caused by the diversity of gender, age, and ethnicity that exists in the modern workplace.”

Handwerk approached the problem from a performance management perspective, focusing on the group of workers and examining organizational issues that were negatively affecting performance. He helped the organization uncover the root causes of the workers’ dissatisfaction – mainly a lack of variety in their tasks. After the company implemented Handwerk’s suggestions for restructuring, quality improved, and productivity increased.

EAPs have traditionally played a role in supporting productivity by providing a phone number for employees to call if they have personal issues affecting their work. Performance management is designed to identify underlying organizational issues and work on those. Each situation requires a long-term approach unique to that particular environment — be it performance management or EAP.

Choose the right intervention and you’ll retain the employees you need to meet customer’s needs!

Adapted from The Rotarian, 10/05.

Make a Comment/Question

Get more tips on retaining great employees from TRAINING SYSTEMS.

David’s Dilemma: Managing Employees Whose Personal Problems Interfere with Work (video training)
Process Improvement, by Eileen Flanigan & Jon Scott
(10% off by typing "RIR" in Special Instructions) Or E-mail.

Tools: Recruit Inspire Train Retain

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November 3 – Sandwich Day
November 4 – Candy Day & World Community Day
November 5 – Guy Fawkes Day & Doughnut Day, 1st crossword puzzle book issued in 1924
November 6 – Basketball Day, Love Nachos Day, & Peanut Butter Lover’s Day
November 7 – Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day (now that’s being specific!)
November 9 – Cake Appreciation Day, Election Day, & Parents as Teachers Day
November 10 – Toothpaste Day
November 11 – Veterans Day & Sundae Day
November 12 – Pizza But No Anchovies Day
November 13 – World Kindness Day & Actors Day
November 14 – horse-drawn street cars with room for 30 passengers begin operating in NYC in
                         1832. The fare was 12 cents.
November 15 – Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day & America Recycles Day
November 16 - International Day for Tolerance
November 17 – World Peace Day, Homemade Bread Day, Take a Hike Day, & Coping with
                         Uncertainty Day (wow, I’m not sure I can deal with all that in 1 day)
November 18 – Teddy Bear Day
November 19 – Pencil Day
November 20 – Peanut Butter Fudge Day
November 23 - "What Do You Love About America" Day

November 24 - Thanksgiving
November 25 - You’re Welcome Day
November 27 - Pie in the Face Day
November 30 - Computer Security Day & Clear Up the Clutter Day


November 6-12, 2005
Staff Training Week

November 7-11, 2005
International Career Development Conference (ICDC), Hyatt Regency Orange County, CA,

November 14-16, 2005
2005 SMT Annual Conference, Amelia Island Plantation, Amelia Island, FL,

November 16-18, 2005
DevLearn: The eLearning Developers’ Conference & Expo 2005, San Francisco, CA,

November 14-16
SHRM HR Generalist Certificate Programs, Washington, CD,

December 4-6, 2005
ASAE’s The Great Ideas Conference, Coronado Springs Resort, Orlando, FL,

December 5-7, 2005
SHRM HR Generalist Certificate Programs, Phoenix, AZ,

December 5-7, 2005
Dave Meier’s 3-Day Accelerated Learning Training Methods Workshops, Embassy Suites, Phoenix, AZ,

January 10-13, 2006
The Special Event Conference Trade Show 2006, Dallas Convention Center, Dallas, TX,

January 12-15, 2006
International Alliance for Learning’s 31st Annual Conference: Leading Through Learning, Alexandria, VA,

February 26-28, 2006
ASAE’s The Great Ideas Conference, Coronado Bay Resort, San Diego, CA,

July 26-30, 2006
WorldFuture 2006: Creating Global Strategies for Humanity’s Future, Sheraton Centre Toronto, Toronto, Ontario, Canada,

Enter the 2006 ASAE Associations Advance America Awards!
February 17, 2006 is the deadline for programs conducted between October 2005 and January 2006.
May 2, 2006 is the deadline for programs conducted between January 2006 and April 2006
For details on eligibility and award categories, go to


Join this not-for-profit group brings together singers whose lives have been directly or indirectly touched by breast cancer. Call 773-250-SING or send an email to Include your contact information & what part your sing (Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Bass).

Buy products that raise money for breast cancer research & awareness:
To benefit the Breast Cancer Research Foundation: Pure Color Crystal Gloss in Evelyn Pink, B.Sweets Chocolate Rx,
To benefit the Women’s Cancer Research Fund: Shower for the Cure Pink Ribbon Shower Gell,


Responsibly Dispose of Your Old Electronics
Donate PCs to National Cristina Foundation,

Recycle PCs and other computer products at Hewlett Packard and Dell. See their websites for details.

Find local Electronics recyclers at and

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Copyright 2005 TRAINING SYSTEMS, INC. All rights reserved.


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